Monday, March 29, 2010

Just when I need Him most!

So I bet you think this is going to be a blog about my hot, sexy husband....but it's not! Well I may mention him in here....but that's not the full focus! The "Him" I am referring to is my best friend in the whole world....the one friend I have that I can ignore for days, not listen to, and then turn around and He is still there! Still forgiving me...still loving me....still wanting me to crawl in His lap so He can comfort me! If you haven't figured it out the "Him" I am talking about is Jesus!

I'm not going to lie...I have had a few rough weeks all in a row! Satan is attacking me for sure...and unfortunately I am giving him more leeway than I should be...but I have gotten to the point where I feel I am too tired to fight. But I am so amazed that even though I get to this point...God in His infinite love and wisdom still comes along and picks me up! Even when I seem to be forgetting Him He has shown me today that He has not and will not forget me!

2 things happened today that has uplifted me. To let you know about the first I will have to start by explaining that my husband and I are searching for a church where God wants us to be and serve in (well when I say we I obviously mean me since my husband is away fighting for our freedom). This has been very discouraging for me. It is very hard for me to walk into a new church by can be a lonely feeling and make you realize how aware you feel that you are alone. It's also hard because it's hard to fully explain to my husband what I think about the church so I can get his opinion when he is thousands of miles away! Well tonight 2 ladies came to visit me from a church that I have visited a few was such a great visit! I felt so excited and uplifted when they left. In all honesty I didn't want them to leave...I was so enjoying the fellowship. But since I am in the midst of redoing my floors in my house I was unable to invite them in so we had to stand on the porch and talk...I felt like I was so rude...but they were very sweet and said they had both been there before!

My second experience where I felt God near was tonight when I was putting my son to bed. I just started doing devotions with him at night (because when I was little I have great memories of this with my parents...we had devotions every night). So I wanted to carry on this tradition. So we did our devotions and after I read him his Bible story I asked if he wanted to pray. I have been asking Ian this night after night for weeks now. He always says a very excited yes and so I try and help him. I start out saying "Dear Jesus" and wait for him to repeat...he never does just smiles at me. I always feel a little disappointment because I don't want to fail him as a parent...i want him to know how easy it is to talk to Jesus. So tonight Ian was once again excited to pray...I said "Dear Jesus"...again I start praying...asking God to keep him safe and for him to sleep good and have good dreams ( he is plagued with night terrors)...when all of a sudden I heard him talking. I looked up while still praying trying to see if he was playing around instead of listening to the prayer...then I realized that his head was bowed and he was repeating what I was saying! I literally felt tears come to my eyes. Hearing his sweet little voice say "in Jesus name Amen" was enough to make my heart rejoice! There is no sweeter sound than hearing you child say the name of Jesus.

God is so good to me! He knows when I'm down....He knows when I am at my breaking point...and then in His love He comes along even when I do not ask and shows me He is still very alive in my life.