Christmas 2009

So I know it is been a Looong time since I have posted anything that has gone on in my life! And believe me it's not because nothing is going on....on the contrary it seems like way too much is going on. But I am loving it! We have been spending sooooo much time at the Eagle's Nest with jumps and baking and pizza night and baking and family fun night and baking so on and so forth. I think you may get the picture by now. But in all honesty it has been such a fun and rewarding experience!

As you know we have just got done with the most crazy, exciting, stressful, busiest time of the year! CHRISTMAS!!!! I love this time of year....buying presents for others, listening to music you only get to listen to once a year, having family and friends around. Wrapping paper, decorating, lots of goodies to eat (that you will be working off until next Christmas comes around)! Isn't it the greatest! :) But I must admit I am one of those people that once Christmas is over I am ready for summer! lol

We had such an awesome Christmas this year! I was a little sad at times because we didn't get to go home (Texas) for Christmas and visit with family...but thankfully my father in law got to come and spend it with us...so we weren't all alone! And it was a fun experience because this is the first Christmas we have actually been in our own home. So we got to do the presents Christmas morning with Ian and then the stockings and all that fun traditional stuff! This year we decided to start a new tradition for our family and we made a gingerbread house. It was kind of a pathetic looking one...but it was our first and I'm sure years to come there will be some improvement. Ian even helped...although I think he ate more of the decorations for the house than he put on! And most of the ones that he did put on he took back off and ate. LoL Christmas morning was so much fun! This whole time we had no presents under the tree because the dogs like to open them....so we waited until Christmas Eve after Ian went to bed and then we put them under the tree. It was so fun to watch Ian when he woke up and saw the tree with all the presents underneath. We honestly couldn't get to our cameras fast enough. He immediately grabbed a present and started unwrapping it. lol Thankfully it was one of his presents! Once again he got extremely spoiled by everyone around him...and he loved each and every one of his presents! He had such great reactions to all of them! His BIG present from us was a Lightening McQueen 4 wheel quad! It goes an amazing speed of 2 mph! At least I know I can run that fast. LoL We took him outside today and he got to ride it outdoors. He had been riding it in the living room and as you can imagine it was very limited space. His Poppy (my father in law) bought him the helicopters that you can fly by remote. Today me and Wes sat there forever trying to get that thing in the air (obviously you need skill and neither of us had it. LoL) Ian kept asking to do it so after about 20 minutes of no success I told Wes to just give it to Ian...within 2 seconds Ian had that thing up in the air. LoL As for me...Wes got me exactly what I've been asking for all year! He did very good this year! I got him a new laptop which came in 2 days before Christmas. He LOVES it :) Funny thing Wes got was a key chain from his Grandma Carey! How it works is if you loose your keys you whistle and your key chain beeps back at you. The only problem...Wesley does not know how to whistle. LoL Funny thing is today Ian was crying and the thing kept going off! :) Fun times!

This Christmas is bittersweet for us at the Eagle's Nest! This coming new year holds lots of deployments! The first of our guys start leaving in January (Wesley is in that bunch) and I believe the last group of guys head out in April. That will leave us with 2 regulars...one who is getting out in May and the other who is retiring in October! Please pray for our soldiers as they are away...and that we will be able to be an encouragement to them while they are gone! We still have plenty to keep us busy during this coming year! One of my goals is to reach out to the wives of those that are gone! This can be such a lonely and stressful and scary time for them! Please pray that we can lift them up when they need it!

I do hope though that we all took the time to stop and actually remember what Christmas is about! I know I just sounded so cliche, but it's so important that we remember this. It's Jesus' Birthday! And yes I realize we do not know the exact date...but this is when we choose to celebrate....and celebrate I think we should! I must admit that I was getting so caught up in all that needed to be done that I hadn't really stopped and focused on Jesus. But my sister Julie did help me out with this problem...although I'm sure she has no idea that she did. When she sent us our Christmas box this year she included Casting Crowns new Christmas CD! If you haven't had a chance to listen to this CD you really need to (although I understand if you wait until next year lol). Listening to the songs made me stop and realize that I just need to slow down and adore my Jesus! We all know the song "O Come all Ye Faithful"...well the Sunday before Christmas we were at church singing it and we get to the last part "O come let us adore Him" and I literally stopped singing and wondered when was the last time I actually adored Jesus. I mean....sure I say my prayers....I'm one of those crazy people that actually carry on a conversation pretty much all day with Jesus. Isn't that what we are supposed to do? I talk to him just like I was talking to my husband or sisters. Although I'm sure some people just think I'm talking to myself half the time. :) But I stood there and wondered...why don't we as Christians....let me just bring that thought down more personal...why don't I just take the time more often to actually adore Him. Not to sit there and ask for stuff or be with a certain situation or be with whoever is needing prayer at the time, but really sat down and adore Him! Because if you think about it He is so worthy and deserves our adoration! He came down from Heaven to be born in a manger among barn animals! Can you imagine that? I don't know about you, but if my son had been born in a cave among farm animals I wouldn't have really been to happy about it. Jesus who is God...who is King...left his home which is in Heaven to come down to this wicked, sinful earth! Are you even starting to see the awesomeness of this? But it didn't just stop there. His whole purpose in coming was to die on a cross. He left his home in Heaven, to come to earth, to live among sinful men...whom He created and who rejected Him, to die upon an awful cross, to save us!!!! I think sometimes if I could just grasp this a little bit more each and every day I could then start adoring Him the way He needs to be adored! I know I have rambled a lot here and this may not make sense to anyone and I also realize that Christmas has past, but that still doesn't mean we can't come and adore Him. After all He is Christ the Lord!

I need to tell you about the love of my life...

Ok....so for those that actually really follow my blogging you probably realized that not 2 seconds ago I just published a post that was...well...pretty intense. I had a lot of things inside of me that needed to get out and I will be honest...I feel sooooo much better. :) But since it was a little on the.... how should I say this....mean side (lol) I really wanted to do something a little more lighthearted. So you can see that I'm not really a B....well you get the point. :) I have actually been thinking about writing this blog for a while but haven't done it yet...I didn't really think people would really care to "hear" me gushing over my son...but you know what...it's my blog...if its too much for you to stomach well...just stop reading! First off...I LOVE my son more than I ever could have imagined loving any one. The moment I met him was the moment I realized there was such a thing as love at first sight! Well...as most of you know my "baby" is turning 2 on Friday and he is just getting so big! I can't believe it!!! But I just want to share a few things that I love to hear the most from him! First as you can imagine, my favorite thing to hear cross his lips are those precious words...."mommy I love you!" I seriously have never heard anything so sweet and it makes me want to melt...and yes...I did cry! Actual funny story behind that though was the first time he said it was one day after I put him down for a nap. I always tell him I love him after tucking him in...as I was heading to the door he said "mommy...love you"...I thought I would melt right there. So I once again told him that I loved him and then shut the door and went into the other room...where he then proceeded to yell over and over again..."mom...love you". So what did I realize...yeah...he wanted out of bed! But I still will take it...he loves me. :) Another story that will go down in the memory box is one day at the mall. I had just dropped Wes off at the airport for some kind of secret training (lol) and so I decided while I was in Nashville I would do some shopping. Well first things first...I had to pee! So we head to the bathroom...well of course I had to bring Ian and his stroller into the stall with me. While I'm sitting there peeing (i know...great mental picture for you lol) my son says rather loudly "mom...you poo poo"! After the words come out I immediately heard laughter from the other stalls. So what was I to do...well I'll tell you what I did..I had a quick talk with God wondering why I ever wanted my son to talk and then I chuckled...after all if it was some other kid doing it to some other mom...I would have laughed too! But what I have discovered watching my son grow is how fun it can be to see the transformation! But I think so far...the most exciting experience for me is him learning how to talk. I think it is so precious! Here are some of my favorite things he says. "I Bop it" now this one took me a little while to figure out...he is saying "I dropped it". Another would be "tiss" which I'm sure you can guess is "kiss". And he always says this when Wesley leaves for work. He says.."I wanna tiss...I wanna tiss". It is so sweet. His other knew thing which is so funny to me is when he pats my arm and says "mommy, mommy" and he will continously do this until I look at him. And as soon as I look at him he starts jabbering about whatever. And if you turn away too soon he will start tapping me again. So funny...but I can also see how this can get annoying very quickly. Another thing I have been teaching him is to say how old he is and his name. So I ask "Ian how old are you" and he will say "two" and it sound so cute. Although when I ask him what his name is he usually tells me "name". But when he does say it sounds more like "in". LoL And the funniest thing I think he does is his new thing where he says "yeah" to whatever he likes. For instance you ask "Ian do you want to go see MoMo" (one of Wesley's buddies...and how he got the name Momo is a story that I will NOT share at this time. LoL) Ian will then respond "yeah yeah" in such an excited voice! He also love "airpanes" (he forgets the "l" in there) and he can spot these things from miles away and gets crazy excited about them. I could litterally go on and on with his words...he has a HUGE vocabulary...but I will stop boring you. But I do want to end with just one more phrase he says. And it is "dit down"...which of course means "sit down." I think this is so sweet at times. He wants to play with you or cuddle with you...basically he wants to spend time with you and he ask you to "dit down." The Lord is actually teaching me some things through the phrase "dit down". (I know you are probably thinking what in the world LoL) Let me explain...when I'm doing something..I really don't like to get interrupted...especially in the middle of my cleaning groove or when I am cooking. Sometimes though I'll be caught up in something and Ian will call my name and I'll walk in the room and he will point to the couch beside him and say "dit down". And sad to say I usually will say...just a minute baby mommy is busy. But it's in those moments when my son looks so sad cause he just wanted me to "dit down" with him that it seems God nudges me and says..."go sit down with him whatever you are doing can wait". So I put down whatever I'm doing (usually super) realizing whatever it is can wait because my little boy wants me to spend time with him...and there is nothing more wonderful in the world then sitting down and having my son climb into my lap and lean his head back and my chest and just sit and cuddle! And isn't it kind of how God is. He just wants us to spend time with him...sit with him or crawl up in his lap and cuddle. But how often do we find ourselves too busy and we say..."wait a minute God...I'm busy right now"? Sometimes we just need to stop whatever it is were doing and realize it can wait because there is nothing more important then spending time with God! I'm here to tell you it's the little things in life that I am learning to cherish...and I am being taught this from the love of my life...my son, Ian Gideon!

I need to rant a little.... (not for the easily offeneded)

So you read the title...if you get offended or think I'm going over the edge...you should have stopped as soon as you saw ... after my title. :) Just giving you fair warning! So what has me ticked off today you wonder? Well I'll tell you...it's people! Not just any people...but the ones who are mean and conniving and just so stupid because they seriously think that they are God's gift to society! Let's first start out with how they view themselves and then I will follow with how I view them! (I'm warning you this isn't going to be pretty! First off...they think they are well liked, are very popular and funny and that they have a ton of friends. What do I see...they are all alone. They literally have no life...meaning no one invites them over and they rarely go out! They sit on the couch or bed and cyber world is their friend (or the tv...or food) The "friends" they think they have actually can only stand them at little spurts. How do I know this you ask? Well just talk to their "friends" it will usually come out! Second...they go on about all of the things they have done in the past! Ok...it's great and all...I mean come on...don't get me wrong I like to tell old stories about my past...but you want to know the difference here...I don't live in my past. I actually have stories about my present and am looking forward to the ones I'll have in the future! This kind of goes back to the fact that...they have no life! Thirdly...grow up...you're an adult...you don't always need to run to mommy, daddy, the team SGT or whoever your protector is every time your little feelings are hurt! Very recently something happened to me (and I can't remember what it was) and I happened to say those famous words..."it's not fair"! (come on...I know you have said them as well) A wise lady immediatley said..."who told you life was supposed to be fair...cause whoever told you that I want to meet them"! This is so true...life isn't fair...the best thing I can tell you...grow some thicker skin! Fourthly...(i'm really on a role here now lol) why is it that the people that have no ambition in life...they sit around all day doing absolutely NOTHING...they have no goals...they have accomplished nothing....why do these people always seem to be the ones to criticize? I don't get it folks...I mean I really don't get it! And you all know the ones they criticize. Well they pretty much criticize everyone....I mean if there was a job for critizing people they would be the founders making millions! But I have found the people they criticize the most are the ones who have actually accomplished something in their lives. And they have done this with a very minimial support group! I think it's so true that these people tear down others so they themselves won't look so bad...but I'm just here to say it doesn't work. Y'all are see through!!!! Fifthly....please, please stop riding off of the success of friends and family! It's not your accomplishment...it's theirs...let them have their moment. Cause seriously....you only care about it when it benefits you and can makes you look good. Any other time you are just hateful towards that person! Believe me there is so much more I can say and want to say...but I think you get the jist. I know most everyone reading my blog knows someone like this...and probably it's more than one person. A name has probably already popped into your mind as you were reading! And so I know you can relate with me. But I honestly can NEVER understand how people can be so hateful and cruel to an individual! I don't care if you don't know them...please be kind. But folks especially to people you call friends and your family...don't tear them down...because in reality... yeah...we may get mad for a minute (like me right now lol) but you know what...I'll get over it by the time I'm done writing this. The damage you are doing is to yourself...because you are pushing people away. One day you are going to realize you are truly alone and the people that you need to be there for you...well...we're gone! We can only handle so much cruelness and anger! So suprisngly enough...I feel so much better...see I'm already over it. :)

Please tell me how do you prepare for this?

I realize it has been a few days since I've blogged...and I do apologize...we have been super busy and by the time I get home I crash and my mind can not even begin to think straight for a blog. You would be wondering what I was on for sure. :) But there is something I would like to share with my deareset blog friends. Something happened to me a few days back that caught me off guard and I thought I had plenty of time to prepare for it...but it happened sooner than I thought. Has that ever happened to you? Cause if it has...then you can very well relate to what I am about to say. So as most of you know...my husband is in 5th Special Forces Group...and if you still have no clue...he's a Green Beret...you know like John Wayne. LoL There that should be clear enough. :) What does this mean you ask...well it means he is gone a LOT! But let me stop here for a sec...this blog is in no way, shape, or form written for you to feel bad for me or to think I'm more of a woman or whatever...I am NOT that kind of Army wife! This is just me being open...I don't need sympathy..I chose this life and we adjust...and my husband loves his job...I couldn't be happier. I have a lot to say about Army wives who constantly whine and complain and are always looking for someone to say "poor you"...and what I have to say about that is not good. :) But anyway...that is another blog in and of itself. haha So my husband is gone a lot...for instance we got married in June...he left in July and I did not move to be with him until the following January. The week after I got there he left for training and so on and so forth. This year alone he has been gone every month and some of those months were consecutive...meaning he didn't come home some months. I of course miss him when he is away...but truth is it has become life...I thankfully am very independent...so I just keep going...never giving it another thought. On October 30, 2007...it changed. Our beautiful son was born and the thought of Wesley going away honestly frightened me a little. I could take care of myself when he was away...but what about another human being...especially one that depended solely on me? So the day come...duty called...Wes was off again for God only knows how long. I prepared myself as best I could and you know what...I survived. It really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. We got in our little routine and everything just seemed to flow. So that's how it went...Wes would leave...we would go on with life and then celebrate when he came home. Until Ian started getting older..then it changed somewhat...daddy would leave and Ian would act out for a few days...then all would be well...and then when daddy would return Ian would be excited for the first day and then jealousy of sharing mommy would sink in...but that was to be expected. I had prepared for that...we once again adjusted to the new way of things. Well now my son is almost 2 (I can't believe it) and as you can imagine...my husband is gone again...and something happened to me (or should I say us) that in the back of my mind I knew I needed to prepare for...but honestly thought it wouldn't happen for a while. So my husband leaves and everything is normal...Ian has gotten into this habit that when Wes leaves for work Ian ask him for a kiss...well when we dropped Wes off at the airport he was in quite a bit of a hurry and didn't get to kiss Ian bye. Well Ian was greatly disappointed and kept pointing at the double doors Wes had went through crying "kiss, kiss". I was very sad for him...but what could I do...Wes had a plane to catch. Thankfully...they delayed his plane for several hours so Ian finally got his kiss. We drive home that evening and all is well...the next day Ian has a bad day acting out...but it is very normal cause his daddy just left. The day after he is just fine...things are going very normal....we are in our "daddy's away" routine. Then it happens...Wesley finally gets the time to call..and it's right before Ian's bed time so of course I ask if he wants to talk. What happens next is what I was NOT prepared for...Ian takes the phone and as soon as Wes says "hey buddy" Ian starts crying and pointing at the phone saying "daddy" over and over. He was so upset he wouldn't stop crying (now mind you this wasn't hysterical crying..but tears were coming out of his eyes and down his little chubby cheeks). I ended up holding him for a bit and then putting him to bed. What more could I do? I'll tell you...it broke my heart. I sat there after I put him to bed wondering what he must be thinking...how could he know what was going on..how could I explain it to him...or most importantly could I have prepared him more? I felt so helpless that night wondering if this was going to happen from now on...every time Wesley leaves. I'm going to be honest...I don't know if I can deal with that. As I am writing this I am crying at the thought of my little broken hearted son wondering why his daddy isn't there to play with him or tuck him in for the night. That is daddy/son time there...bed time...when Wes is home he always puts him to bed and they talk and play for a bit before he actually puts him down. Of course...Ian being the 2 year old he is...wakes up the next morning as normal and happy as can be. And thankfully the next time Wes got to call (which was today :) Ian was fine...talked to him like normal. But I sincerely ask you...how do you prepare for that...please tell me!

Early Morning Visitor

So...you know how sometimes you get caught up in whatever you are doing and forget to do something that you normally do without even having to think about it? (Don't even make me feel like I'm the only one out there that is like that...you know that you have done it yourself :) Well...that is what happened last night..and believe me I will always remember this mistake. LoL To give you a little background...last night we were coming home from church...it was a good service and we had met some new friends and we were pretty pumped about how the night went. So of course we are discussing this as we roll up in our drive way. We proceed to get out of the truck still telling each other about our different conversations. I was heading to the back about to get Ian out when I realized my hands were full...so I asked Wes if he could grab him. Being the great father and husband that he is...he had no problem with this and quickly came around to help me out with him. We made our way into the house and put Ian to bed...Wes studied for a class that he is giving the soldiers today and I watched a little TV. Then we headed off to bed where we both quickly fell asleep. And let me tell you I was sleeping very well...and having a great dream. Although right now for the life of me I can't remember what it is..but I know it was good. :) All of sudden I'm startled awake by the dogs running out of our room and to the front door barking quite loudly...and all I could think of is they better not wake Ian or I will kill each and everyone of them. OK...maybe not kill...but severely hurt! So Wes jumps out of bed to try and calm them down and sends them back into the room...when all of a sudden this extremely loud banging is heard on our door. Oh...and the doorbell is being rung...but since our doorbell is half dead..it really was just a sad pathetic noise that was overwhelmed mostly by the banging. So there are many things running through my head right now. Who the heck would be knocking at our door at 340 in the morning???? Could it be our neighbor...maybe something was wrong with her mom...but no...surely she would have called instead. Would a burglar really knock on our door before coming in and killing us? (seriously...it's amazing what goes through your head when you are startled out of deep sleep) So I tell Wesley to grab the gun before he opens the door...of course he didn't really need me to tell him that...he had already grabbed it...I was just trying to be helpful! Well...this has taken probably a good 30 seconds...but it seems like forever before Wesley gets to the door and whoever is at the door will not stop banging!!!! So now I'm thinking I'm going to kill whoever is at my door if he wakes up Ian. So I'm trying to hold 4 dogs back while Wesley answers the door of this very impatient impostor...this is no easy job for me let me tell you! Wesley yells "who's there" (can you tell we don't have a peep hole...which we will be getting before Wesley deploys I have now decided). Whoever is there can knock loud...but his voice isn't very loud...so Wesley finally opens the door after asking twice and still not understanding! So I am in the other room and all I hear is "I'm from the Oak Grove Police Department"! What in the world!!!! I'm imagining someone has died or our house was on fire or something...I swear this guys fist must be black and blue from almost banging down my door, sureley this was a sever emergency! So Wesley walks outside and shuts the door...what seem like 10 minutes has gone by (when in reality it was like 1 maybe 2) Wesley comes back inside! I'm waiting anxiously to hear what he wanted...what was the emergency! Yeah...our door to our truck was open...in all of our chatting that night on our way inside the house we had forgotten to close the truck door. The police officer was nice enough to close it for us...but then wanted to make sure that we were alright! I guess there had been several break ins in our neighborhood and he wanted to make sure that no one had broken into our house! You know...honestly I didn't get mad. I was actually touched that he cared enough and took the time to make sure we were ok. It meant a lot to me because as most of you know my husband is rarely home and it's nice to know I have someone watching out for me when he is away...patrolling our streets and making sure we are safe! So thank you to that police officer out there...whoever you are...for making sure we are ok...and also for giving us a good laugh...and possibly saving our battery so Wes could go to work this morning! :

Life's purpose

All of my life I have been use to serving...that's the life of a Pastor's daughter I'm told...and that is exactly who I am. So when you grow up and leave the house you have to actually look for something to do so you can serve others. Not everyone is like your dad and finds something for you to do whether you want to or not. :) And growing up there were times when I just didn't feel like always serving...and if that makes me a bad person...then there it is...I am human...go figure. When we asked if we had to do something my dad's motto was always..."you don't have to...you get to". My sisters and I have joked about that a lot growing up but now that I am grown I find myself repeating that to myself quite often...and I'm sure if you asked my husband he will let you know that I have repeated this saying to him on more than one occasion...which I'm sure he loves as much as I did when my dad said it to me. :) So now that I am an adult and on my own it seems I am fighting to find a way to serve. And somehow thankfully the Lord has blessed Wes and I and we have found a way to use the abilities the Lord has given us to serve since we have been married. But it seems the last year or so we have been fighting to feel like we are being used to help others...we've prayed that God would please show us what to do. And you know...it's amazing how something can be staring you in the face for so long...but you never see it. There is a couple in the church we had been going to who runs a place called the Eagle's Nest. It is a great ministry that caters to the military...the main focus on single soldiers who have no family and live in the barracks...but all are welcome to come. This older couple have been serving the military and the community for several years and keeping this wonderful "home away from home" open all by themselves for the most part. And sadly Wes and I have known this couple for 2 years...and it was only about a week ago that we actually came to each other with the same idea...maybe they could use some help. It's amazing how God does that. Wes has been gone for several months off and on and we had not talked about it...but God had been dealing with both of us and as soon as I told Wes how I felt like I should see if they could use our help he said God had been dealing with him about the same thing. So we asked them to put us to work any way they needed...and did they ever. :) And what is amazing about it is I have gotten more blessing out of it then probably what I have been putting into it. Yesterday was my first expericne at the DZ (Drop Zone). This is where the soldiers that are jumping from the chinooks land and after they land the Brockmans serve them hot dogs, hamburgers, cookies and sweets, and drinks. Yesterday we were there from 1000 until 600pm for 5th groups reunion jump and served over 700 hot dogs and hamburgers to the soldiers and their families that were out there! It was such a blessing to give back to the soldiers that are giving up so much for us. I was amazed at how much work went into it and realized that this older couple usually do this all by themselves...no complaints! Let me tell you...God dealt with me for not helping sooner...but I can't live in the past...but what I can do is look to the future. I am so excited for what God is going to allow us to do with the Brockmans in the next few months. We have so many new ideas that we are talking about to get the name out there so more people will know about the Eagle's Nest and hopefully bring more people to Jesus, which is our #1 main goal. God is so good to allow our family to serve. Just in the last week we have been so busy but our life has been so much happier. It is so visible...I see the huge difference in Wesley...it's nice to know that we have a new purpose in life! And already I am about to face my first big challenge in this field... Friday pizza night without Ms. Martha. (she is taking her mom up to stay with family for a while) I'll let you know how I survive that! :)