Friday, May 21, 2010

While he is away projects....

So I know I just wrote a blog...and I'm usually a once a month kind a blogger...but today I'm breaking the cycle!!! But probably only for this once...I'm not that good! So I am waiting for my husband to get off of his shift at 2 am so I can talk to him. So I thought I would do something useful with my time! In reality I am falling asleep and I desperately need help staying awake. So for all I know this blog may be a jumbled mess!

So I had this wonderful idea (I wish you could hear the sarcastic way I am saying that) of what to do to keep myself busy while my husband is away on "business" ;) Now what can keep me busy for several months...then this brilliant idea hits me...what a great time to put wood floors in our house! So now that I am waist deep in renovating... not looking like such a brilliant idea anymore. lol Who knew there would be so many decisions to make? Also who knew that pulling up carpet and putting wood floors in would cause me to decided my ENTIRE house needed painting...or that I needed new rugs...or that I needed new pictures to hang on my walls...or that I needed a new bedspread.... or that Ian needed a new theme for his room...or that I needed a new shower curtain...oh and don't forget the curtains for my living room, and we all know you can't get new curtains without getting a new curtain rod...and the curtain rod in the living room has to match the one in the dining room since technically they are all the same room. Oh and don't forget the new shed I got and when I got the shed up realized it might be a good idea to go ahead and fence in the entire back yard! Are you understanding why maybe this wasn't such a brilliant idea anymore?

First it's going to pick out the wood for the floors. How was I supposed to know that there was such a huge variety to choose from! And I had to do it ALL by myself :( So many times I have been going through this whole renovation process and I stop and think..."this is Wesley's house too...shouldn't he have a say in how it looks...shouldn't he be stressing right along with me?" Well surprise, surprise...Wes could care less what kinds of wood floor I long as I like it...oh and he's not stressed at all. LoL I was so very proud of myself though...I found this warehouse place that sales wood flooring at such an awesome price!!! I was able to get wood for my entire house plus the padding that goes underneath for $1500!!!!! Yay me! And it's a good thing I got it when I did because that flood we had...yeah...wiped the store out. I bet they have really great prices now hehe

I have such a great friend (well really the entire family) who has helped me put the floors in. Ok...what am I saying...he didn't help me...he did it all by himself while I just stood around feeling I left lol It is looking so awesome!!! I even have the living room and dining room painted thanks to my mom who came and visited me. Fair warning...if you come to visit me I may put you to work :) My living room is now a khaki color and my dining room is a dark looks so great. I actually ended up buying my rug from Walmart (I know...I'm surprised as well) and it was on sale and the last one they had! It tied the room together perfectly. I got to hang all my new pictures that I have been saving to put up whenever I got around to painting and finally...after living here for close to 3 years my pictures have been hung :)

My next big project is painting the rest of the house. The bathroom will probably be the most challenging for me. I'm doing it a solid color on the bottom and the top is going to be stripes. I was going to do stripes in Ian's room, but after taping off the bathroom...yeah...I decided against it. I have an awesome idea for Ian's room though...but you'll have to wait till it's done and I post the pictures! What? I have to keep you coming back for more somehow lol My room is going to be a pale blue to match the new bed spread I just got. Well that's actually a long story in and of itself...but I should save that for another blog.

So yeah...we are a little over half way done with this deployment and sadly I am not half way done with this house. Can I make it? You better believe it! So yeah...I think next deployment maybe I'll just travel or something lol

Oh wait...did I mention that I am tiling the bathroom and the kitchen and washroom. Oh and when Wes gets back we will be getting new light fixtures for the living room, kitchen, dining and bathroom...and possibly the rest of the house :)

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Remember something that seems trivial to you is a big deal to someone else!!!

Tonight I am thinking about my neighbor...she is really heavy on my mind tonight! Is this normal you might be asking yourself? Well as much as I would like to make myself out to sound like this wonderful over caring neighbor this does not mean I am ALWAYS thinking of my neighbors. Does this make me an awful person? I like to think not. But anyway...back to topic. Today my neighbor came knocking on my door...which isn't unusual...we do have a friendly relationship. And since she lives with her mom it is not uncommon for her to come over to sit and chat and just get away from her mom...not to say that her mom is an awful person...she is not...but you ladies know what I'm talking about! (once again...going away from topic...what is wrong with me? lol) So I answered my door and I could tell something was I invited her in to have a seat. To give a little background my neighbor is a dog lover...they are her life. Don't get me wrong...she still realizes that they are not humans..but she has a very close attachment to them. Well one of her dogs whose name is Stranger has not really been acting himself she took him to the Vet and they said he had allergies and gave him antibiotics and stuff like that. Well this morning she brought him over and the right side of his face was all droopy like he had had a looked so awful and broke my heart to see him like that.

So back to why my neighbor came over...she had just got back from the Vet and he told her that Stranger has a tumor in his throat and it is cancerous! Now to some out there this may seem very trivial in the whole scheme of things...but it's really not. Because today I realized as I watched my neighbor in tears and listened to her talk it through I could hear the pain in her voice...I realized that this is a really bid deal to her to say the least! Right now this problem is all she can think is what is consuming her. Of course I have dogs and so I could sympathize with her. Like her I still realized my dogs are animals and not humans...but they have become a part of our family and I know if we lost one I would cry (although if you know me I do joke about it sometimes because I am overwhelmed with dogs lol) And I know some of you not only can you sympathize with can empathize with her because you know what it feels like to loose a family pet.

After she left I was thinking about what had happened and how awful I feel for not only Stranger, but for Naomi (my neighbor) because she is going to have to say goodbye to a "family" member here pretty soon. And then I thought...there are those out there that would probably laugh or at least not understand why this is such a big deal. They are those that would probably want to say "I wish I had your problems". But this is when we need to stop and think...something that may seem so small to you is so huge to someone else. A teenager comes to mind. I remember when I was a teen (of course it wasn't that very long ago...of course it's getting farther away) and I thought I had these huge problems...and now as an adult I look back and I think "man I wish I had those problems now". But you that was such a huge deal to was what consumed me...what I thought about all the time.

Another thought comes to mind...which has always been a personal pet peeve of mind. I hear it from Army (or should I say military) wives a LOT! It goes something like military wife to another. "So my civilian friend's husband went out of town on business and she won't stop complaining about it....I don't want to hear how she misses her husband so much...blah blah blah blah blah...she would never be able to do what I do" I know you all know what kind of conversation I'm talking about...and you may have had it yourself. But here's something to think about! She didn't marry (or "sign up" as we Army wives like to say) the military....she didn't make a commitment to a man who chose a career that would carry him away for months at a time! So guess what...she doesn't have to prepare herself like we do. She doesn't have the "he's home" attitude nor does she know how to switch on "super mommy/woman" button. Does that make her any less of a woman then me...HECK no! It just means we fell in love with 2 different men (which is a good thing ... I don't like sharing my husband lol) So when a friend of mine's husband goes away for a weekend, or a week on business and she "complains" about missing him and him being know what I have trained myself to do...I sympathize...or in reality empathize with her. Because right that moment...this is a big deal for her...this is what consumes her. And I don't EVER want to make her feel like lesser person or make her feel like she can't complain to me because her husband is gone for a week and mine is gone for a month or 8 months or whatever. Because I know several Army wives out there that will and have and it just irks me! But just remember...when you start complaining about missing your husband don't be upset if that don't seem all that concerned and act like they don't want to hear about it. If you are truly friends their problems matter just as much as yours do. Is this making any sense at all?

I guess what I'm trying to say in this jumbled up time someone has a problem that you just want to laugh at...or you think is so trivial...or you may even think in your head "I wish I had your problems" ...please don't. Because just think...that problem that you may be going through...that thing that consumes you...the thing that you can't seem to look you really want someone thinking the same about you...or do you just want some encouragement...someone to listen to not make you feel stupid...but to make you feel like you are cared and loved for. Just remember...that's all they are really wanting...the same thing you are. So what may seem trivial to's not trivial to your friend, or to your family member, or to your neighbor, or even to a stranger off the street!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

I never believed in love at first sight until I met you

It is the end of the day...a very special is Mother's Day. My 3rd Mother's Day! As I sit here thinking (scary huh?) and think back on the last 2 and half years of being a mother I can't help but be amazed. Amazed that I am not only celebrating my mom...but I am celebrating being a mom. There was a time when I actually thought this day would mean nothing more to me then celebrating my mom, and her mom, and my mother in law and my sisters beings moms...well you get the idea. And it's not because when I first got married I said I would never have children (and yes I said that....hey...don't judge...there have been worse thing said)...but it's because when I was 17 I was told by a doctor (and without really going into too much detail) that if I were to want children it would more than likely be hard for me to conceive. Of course at 17 I could care less...remember...I didn't want kids! Not that I didn't like them...I just liked giving them back. haha But somewhere along the road I had a change of heart...and Wes and I decided it was time...we wanted to add humans to our little family (we only had dogs). And then it started...the journey...but that's not what this blog is I will just say this...a year and a half and 2 miscarriages later I finally got pregnant and was able to carry him to full term and on October 30, 2007 Ian Gideon Carey came into this world...and that's when I became a believer in love at first sight!

It is amazing how much love you can feel for someone that you have seen for the first time. No words are said....he does nothing for himself....he takes up all of my spare time...he cries...he poops...I clean it up...but there he was all about him...and I was hopelessly completely head over heals in love!

But let me jump back several months. About a week or 2 after I found out we were having our son I was sitting at our kitchen table in Ft. Bragg and was doing my daily devotion. And I believe nothing is by chance...but it just so happened on that day that I was reading 1 Samuel chapter 1. And for those of you who are not familiar with this chapter it is a story about Hannah...a woman who could not conceive and was heartbroken because she wanted a child so badly....she was pleading with God to give her a child. It was so easy for me to relate to her...I had been there. I had cried and pleaded to God for a child...I had seen other women get pregnant and begged God to take away the jealousy...begged God to give me a child of my own...and at times it seemed like God wasn't listening...or really that maybe he was just saying no...when really he was just saying wait...wait for me...wait for my timing. I found out His timing is perfect! But anyway...back to Hannah...God finally granted her wish and she became pregnant and bore a son! (at the time I didn't realize I was having a son...but wow...another thing we have in common) And as I read farther in the chapter I came to this verse and I have to be honest...I cried...and I claimed this verse as my own...and I had peace that day...peace that I would have this child...I would finally carry full term. I Samuel 1:27 ~ For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him:

I'm still looking for this scripture in a frame to hang on Ian's door! Because although I knew what Hannah was feeling when she couldn't conceive...I also know what she felt like when she did!!!!

I'm not going to lie...there are times when I get tired...times I wonder what the heck I was thinking lol Like when we are out to eat and he doesn't want to sit and eat, but I want him he decides to throw himself on the floor and start screaming, or times when he is so frustrated and I don't know why so I can't help he just gets more frustrated! Or when I try to break his will and he is being so stubborn and it takes an hour to get through to him...and it is to the point where we are both at tears. Times when I think that I am so tired of doing this on my own...I'm tired of being the bad guy. And then it morning I wake up to him crawling in bed with me...and I turn to look at him and he is staring at me with those big blue eyes with his thumb in his mouth holding his woof woof...wrapped up in his cars blanket and all of a sudden the sweetest most beautiful smile I have ever seen spreads across his face and he giggles and that's when I say "Thank you God...thank you for blessing me with him". It is those times that make all the hard times worth it! Because for this child I prayed...and God heard me and gave me what I wanted...what I needed...exactly when I needed it!

So on my 3rd Mother's Day...I just want to give thanks....thanks for having the privilege of being a mom...and although I don't know if God will bless us with another child (which I hope He does) I do know this... I now truly know what it feels like to fall in love at first sight and to know that no matter what happens...whatever my son does...I will always love's an everlasting kind of love!