Tonight I am thinking about my neighbor...she is really heavy on my mind tonight! Is this normal you might be asking yourself? Well as much as I would like to make myself out to sound like this wonderful over caring neighbor this does not mean I am ALWAYS thinking of my neighbors. Does this make me an awful person? I like to think not. But anyway...back to topic. Today my neighbor came knocking on my door...which isn't unusual...we do have a friendly relationship. And since she lives with her mom it is not uncommon for her to come over to sit and chat and just get away from her mom...not to say that her mom is an awful person...she is not...but you ladies know what I'm talking about! (once again...going away from topic...what is wrong with me? lol) So I answered my door and I could tell something was wrong...so I invited her in to have a seat. To give a little background my neighbor is a dog lover...they are her life. Don't get me wrong...she still realizes that they are not humans..but she has a very close attachment to them. Well one of her dogs whose name is Stranger has not really been acting himself lately...so she took him to the Vet and they said he had allergies and gave him antibiotics and stuff like that. Well this morning she brought him over and the right side of his face was all droopy like he had had a stroke...it looked so awful and broke my heart to see him like that.
So back to why my neighbor came over...she had just got back from the Vet and he told her that Stranger has a tumor in his throat and it is cancerous! Now to some out there this may seem very trivial in the whole scheme of things...but it's really not. Because today I realized as I watched my neighbor in tears and listened to her talk it through I could hear the pain in her voice...I realized that this is a really bid deal to her to say the least! Right now this problem is all she can think about...it is what is consuming her. Of course I have dogs and so I could sympathize with her. Like her I still realized my dogs are animals and not humans...but they have become a part of our family and I know if we lost one I would cry (although if you know me I do joke about it sometimes because I am overwhelmed with dogs lol) And I know some of you not only can you sympathize with her...you can empathize with her because you know what it feels like to loose a family pet.
After she left I was thinking about what had happened and how awful I feel for not only Stranger, but for Naomi (my neighbor) because she is going to have to say goodbye to a "family" member here pretty soon. And then I thought...there are those out there that would probably laugh or at least not understand why this is such a big deal. They are those that would probably want to say "I wish I had your problems". But this is when we need to stop and think...something that may seem so small to you is so huge to someone else. A teenager comes to mind. I remember when I was a teen (of course it wasn't that very long ago...of course it's getting farther away) and I thought I had these huge problems...and now as an adult I look back and I think "man I wish I had those problems now". But you know...at that time...it was such a huge deal to me...it was what consumed me...what I thought about all the time.
Another thought comes to mind...which has always been a personal pet peeve of mind. I hear it from Army (or should I say military) wives a LOT! It goes something like this...one military wife to another. "So my civilian friend's husband went out of town on business and she won't stop complaining about it....I don't want to hear how she misses her husband so much...blah blah blah blah blah...she would never be able to do what I do" I know you all know what kind of conversation I'm talking about...and you may have had it yourself. But here's something to think about! She didn't marry (or "sign up" as we Army wives like to say) the military....she didn't make a commitment to a man who chose a career that would carry him away for months at a time! So guess what...she doesn't have to prepare herself like we do. She doesn't have the "he's home" attitude nor does she know how to switch on "super mommy/woman" button. Does that make her any less of a woman then me...HECK no! It just means we fell in love with 2 different men (which is a good thing ... I don't like sharing my husband lol) So when a friend of mine's husband goes away for a weekend, or a week on business and she "complains" about missing him and him being gone...you know what I have trained myself to do...I sympathize...or in reality empathize with her. Because right now...at that moment...this is a big deal for her...this is what consumes her. And I don't EVER want to make her feel like lesser person or make her feel like she can't complain to me because her husband is gone for a week and mine is gone for a month or 8 months or whatever. Because I know several Army wives out there that will and have and it just irks me! But just remember...when you start complaining about missing your husband don't be upset if that don't seem all that concerned and act like they don't want to hear about it. If you are truly friends their problems matter just as much as yours do. Is this making any sense at all?
I guess what I'm trying to say in this jumbled up mess...next time someone has a problem that you just want to laugh at...or you think is so trivial...or you may even think in your head "I wish I had your problems" ...please don't. Because just think...that problem that you may be going through...that thing that consumes you...the thing that you can't seem to look past...do you really want someone thinking the same about you...or do you just want some encouragement...someone to listen to you...to not make you feel stupid...but to make you feel like you are cared and loved for. Just remember...that's all they are really wanting...the same thing you are. So what may seem trivial to you....it's not trivial to your friend, or to your family member, or to your neighbor, or even to a stranger off the street!
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