Monday, November 8, 2010


Gah! Why oh why is it so hard for me to actually sit down and write a blog? I guess for one I actually have to be at my laptop...which I rarely am these days (which is actually kind of nice...I can survive without internet...amazing lol) and two I have to be at home...which is also not usual for me. But I'm loving my life and I'm not sure I would change it...well maybe just a few things. :)

So lately there have been 2 things that I have been thinking about a lot lately and have discussed them only really with my husband. I always get nervous discussing my thoughts with other people...just in case they sound stupid...which a lot of times I'm sure they do. haha But here it goes anyway...just please be kind in your responses. :)

Over the last couple of months I have really been dipping into God's Word. It is so refreshing and I constantly wonder why we are too busy for it. I mean I have failed at this miserably...but every time I take the time to rest in his Word I notice a huge difference in my day. And subsequently so does Satan and he does NOT like it. But anyway...I guess because of this new pattern I have started in my life it has caused me to think a lot on I guess you could say more Spiritual things. So here it goes.

My first thought is on contentment. I mean many of us our truly content with the way our life is? I have heard a lot of people say "I am perfectly content with who I am and how my life is". And if they are, I applaud them...but I have to wonder how honest they are being. Cause admit our minds we can always stand to loose a few pounds...or have a bigger house, or a better car, or a bigger tv, or new clothes and so on and so forth. But recently I have been talking to Wes and I brought up the thought that I think God may be trying to teach us how to be content! At the early onset of our marriage we started using our credit cards for things we thought we needed (I will come back later about credit cards because this is my next thought). Anyway...over the next several years the interest has gone crazy and we have used them off and on. Before Wes deployed this past year we did Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. If you have never done this I recommend it to EVERYONE!!! It is so awesome and will help you in numerous ways. Anyway...God provided through 5th Group who was doing it free for families that are in Group to allow us to go. During this first week of this class we started changing the way we lived financially and it was so freeing!!!! Over the course of Wes' deployment we paid off the majority of our debt (the truck is still not paid for....yet). Which is a HUGE deal for us! I have slept better and we are happier. But then Wes comes home and first Bailey (Wes' dog) has to have ear surgery, then our truck is rear ended, then our hot water heater went out, then one of our tires went flat, then our truck battery died, then our dryer went out...I mean seriously people...the list goes on and on! And as you an imagine our big plans for getting another vehicle, and a new tv, and several other things that we had plans for (to pay with cash of course) pretty much fell through the cracks! So I had to step back and see what in the world can we learn through these trials...I knew God has something in there that we could benefit from. And He did...because as I told Wes..."I think God is trying to teach us how to be content with what we have"!

Now that is a concept! lol I mean it's right there in the Bible! Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5

It is hard though....but I am trying to learn to be content. I have so much to be thankful for that I need to focus on what God has given me already...not what I want Him to give me. Not that I necessarily feel it's wrong to want things...but I do think we are more focused on God being a God who gives and gives and gives, when we rarely give back. Seriously...who wants to be that person? We have all been around those people who are constantly taking, but never selfish is that! But how often is that us when it comes to God? But like I is so hard for me some days. How can I be content with our house that seems smaller every day!!! lol Or the fact that we only have one vehicle...I just want my own I can feel a little freedom and not have to constantly ask Wes what's going on work so I can see if I can have the truck that day (and he is never selfish with it...just some today...he HAS to have it). Or on those days when I think how much another child would complete our Ian would love a sibling to play with...but for whatever God's reason He has chosen to make it nearly impossible for us to have kids (doctors words not mine). I would be content to not have to have Wes or I run through all these crazy test and go through the fertility treatments that seem to lie ahead of us...but God has other ways.

You see...I need to be content (and thankful) that we have our house...a roof above our heads. How many people out there want just that. I need to be content (and thankful) for our truck. Thankful that we have a way to go from place to place and can rely on it. I need to be content with the perfect family God has given to me and Wes and I am extremely thankful God decided to give me our son! I think if we learn to be content then God will give us more and more. Now that is not to say you should be content so you can get more....that is NOT what I'm trying to say...but I'm pretty sure you understood my meaning. Plus...check out the end of the verse...He (God) will never (and I mean NEVER) leave us or forsake us! Wow..that is an amazing thought! No matter what we do or how disappointing we are God will NEVER leave us! Now that in and of it self should leave us content. that was my first thought! :)

My second thought which should be shorter is something that has been bothering and convicting me as well. I posed this question to Wes the other day "How many times do you think we have robbed God of blessing us"? I know...kind of a weird question...but I have really been thinking about it. My main cards! There are many awful things I can say about them...but I won't right main thought is how we use them because we are relying on ourself! You saw the huge list of things that went wrong after Wes came home and you also saw where we paid off our debt. Well as you can imagine we quickly went through our savings right as he came home....and what do you think happened when we ran out of that? You guessed it...when the next thing came up and we didn't see the money in our savings or checking account we did what most people would do...we pulled out our credit card!

Why the heck did we do that? Did not God tell us in the Bible Philippians 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

But I have actually heard this and I'm pretty sure I said it myself "Thank God I had that credit card and had money on it"! Really? I mean seriously? I'm pretty sure the verse says God will supply our need through His riches...not through our credit card. So I many times over the last several years that I have had a credit card have I robbed God of blessing my because I assumed just maybe this unexpected bill or problem came as a shock to Him so I better pull out the card and He can supply the need later. Which from experience doesn't happen that way. I mean...yes...God still supplies the money to pay the bills...but it's not the I'm paying for it for years when if I just waited on God he would have supplied it right then and there in His own way. Cause after all isn't a hot water heater a well as a working dryer? I tend to think it is...especially when I had to live without both for a bit! lol I think sometimes we rely on the old credit card because we just can't possibly see how God could supply our need immediately out of no where...and that is where we are limiting God and what He can do. Because don't forget...He said He would supply ALL of our need!

But anyway...this is just the tip of the iceberg of where my thoughts have been...this has been super long already and I think you get my I'll shut up! Next time I blog hopefully it won't take as long and it will be a little more upbeat! Until then...let's learn to be content with what God has given us and try not to rob Him from blessing you!



  2. Awesome job!!! And very true! I struggle with these thoughts so often and realize how often I do not wait on the Lord to work and I just do it my own way. I love your blog and the way you think and how you struggle but always find your way back to using God's word to lead in your life!

  3. leila,this is michelle thom.i am the oldest of 3 girls. mike and i wanted more children,but GOD said hurt me so much when my sisters were having 2 and 3 kids.but GOD kept telling me to trust him.that was over 20 yrs ago.we are empty nesters now,and i love it.we have our grandchild for a while,then send him home.i know that part isnt very encourageing news right now,but it will get better.......and i know its hard to learn to be content,believe me. michael grew up in the getto,because we couldnt afford much.after michael graduated from high school,GOD gave us an amazing house in the country.he not only gave us the house,but took 25,000 off of the asking price.we didnt know it till we got to the closing table. GOD just works.when we are living in obedience to GOD he just blesses.i'll be praying for you daily,GOD BLESS,michelle

  4. I always enjoy reading your blogs, Leila. You truly have a knack for writing what you think and making it interesting and insightful . . . and just what I needed to hear. With a house full of kids and bills at every corner, I get discouraged sometimes and worry that I might have to go back to work. I need to settle down and let God take care of me the way He wants to. The hardest part for me is not being able to give the girls what I want to . . . somehow I think that I'm depriving them, but that's not true! So, I need to practice being content . . . even if my girls don't have the newest toys or the nicest clothes . . . they have toys, they have clothes and most of all they have each other . . . and we are all still together! AND I need to work on not being scared when all the bills come in from the hospital and I'm not sure where the money will come from. God will provide! Thanks for sharing. I love you, Becca